How Do You Know If U Have A Gambling Problem

• How Do You Know If U Have A Gambling Problems
• How Do You Know If U Have A Gambling Problem Involving
• How To Tell If U Have A Gambling Problem
• How Do You Know If U Have A Gambling Problem Solving
• How Do U Know If U Have A Gambling Problem

Problem gambling does not have to mean you are totally out of control; it is any gambling behaviour that disrupts your life or the life of your loved ones. The impacts of problem gambling can be far reaching and can include: Debt or other financial problems. If you find that checked a lot of the boxes in #1 or you answered 'Yes' to questions 2 through 5, you may have a gambling problem. Think about learning more about gambling or have your gambling assessed by calling the 24-hour Helpline. If you recognize symptoms of gambling addiction in yourself, take this gambling self-assessment to learn how to tell if you have a gambling problem. This quiz is a self-guided assessment that has been created from the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders which is the standard criteria for diagnosing mental health and substance.

A gambling problem can be difficult to detect

Problem Gambling can be hidden for a long time which often makes it very difficult to detect. By the time the problem surfaces and the family finds out, the devastation and wreckage can be tremendous. Family members tend to know that something is wrong with their loved one but due to gambling addiction's invisible nature, especially in the early stages of the disease, it can be extremely hard to identify.

How Do You Know If U Have A Gambling Problems

In this article, we will discuss the signs and symptoms of, and ways to identify if your loved one has a gambling problem. Then, we'll invite your questions about how to get help at the end.

Determining if there is a gambling problem

As a family member, we may or may not know the extent of the gambling problem or how long gambling has been an issue for our loved one. We may know about the gambling, but still have much uncertainty as to whether there is a gambling problem. So if you are asking yourself,

Problem gambling is the urge to gamble continuously in spite of its harmful or negative consequences, or the inability to stop gambling even when you know you should. Problem gamblers keep on playing even though their gambling habits negatively affect them (or the people around them), and even when they wish to stop. However, if you are consistently lying or getting overly defensive about your gaming, your habit might have a bigger hold on you than you think. Neglect of your responsibilities. Do you find yourself getting into trouble at work or school for not meeting expectations? If your gaming comes at the cost of managing your life, you may have a problem.

'How do I know if my loved one is a problem gambler?'

…the following are questions and information that may help determine if there is a gambling problem.

SIGN 1: Time away. If I know the person is gambling, the amount of time spent gambling or engaged in gambling activities increases. The gambler can be gone for long unaccounted for periods of time.

When the gambler in my life gambled, he often gambled while he was at work. So, in the early stages I did not know how much time he actually spent gambling. As his gambling worsened, he would not come home from work and would disappear for 24 hours at a time.

SIGN 2: Obsession to find money. Is the gambler becoming preoccupied or obsessed with obtaining money to gamble or thoughts of gambling? The great obsession can be on coming up with ways to borrow money, taking out loans, pawning items for cash, or planning their next bet.

Living with a gambler in the past, I would frequently have jewelry missing or items of value just disappear. Later I would learn that my gambler would pawn these items to obtain gambling money or to chase his losses. Later in the progression of the disease, the gambler may be physically present but not there, as the mind is preoccupied with gambling.

SIGN 3: Emotional volatility. Does the gambler have moods swings or gambles as a means to cope or change feelings? A gambler deep into his addiction can exhibit mood swings similar to those of a person diagnosed with bi-polar disorder. The extreme up and down in moods can be hard on both the gambler and the family members. The 'up' moods can follow a win, and the gambler may even brag about the winnings. The 'down' mood can be very depressive and the gambler may experience anxious or depressed mood, anger, and become irritable.

Gambling is used to change the way the person is feeling and the family members may hear the gambler make statements such as, 'I had a stressful day at work and I just need to go gamble to unwind'.

SIGN 4: New secrets. Are there secretive behaviors or hiding? Is the gambler becoming very secretive in his actions and with his money? Hiding of gambling wins or losses, hiding lottery tickets, tax documents, etc. becomes common.

In my therapy practice, I often hear the spouses say, 'I found payday loan papers, or while cleaning, I found ATM receipts from the casino.'. The family may begin to lose trust for the gambler as the hiding, concealing, and lying about gambling grows.

20 questions to ask yourself

These are a few of the more noticeable warning signs one may experience with the gambler. In addition, Gam-Anon created a simple list of 20 questions for family members to ask themselves.

Family members of problem gamblers will answer 'YES' to at least seven of the twenty questions.

1. Do you find yourself constantly bothered by bill collectors?
2. Is the person in question often away from home for long unexplained periods of time?
3. Does this person ever lose time from work due to gambling?
4. Do you feel that this person cannot be trusted with money?
5. Does this person promise that he or she will stop gambling, yet gambles again and again?
6. Does this person ever gamble longer than he or she intended?
7. Does this person immediately return to gambling to try to recover losses or to win more?
8. Does this person ever gamble to get money to solve financial difficulties?
9. Does this person borrow money to gamble with or to pay gambling debts?
10. Has this person's reputation ever suffered due to gambling?
11. Have you come to the point of hiding money needed for living expenses?
12. Do you search this person's clothing, go through his or her wallet, or check on his or her activities?
13. Do you hide his or her money?
14. Have you noticed personality changes in him or her?
15. Does this person consistently lie to cover up or deny his or her gambling activities?
16. Does this person use guilt induction as a method of shifting responsibility for his or her gambling onto you?
17. Do you attempt to anticipate this person's moods to try to control his or her life?
18. Does this person ever suffer from remorse or depression due to gambling sometimes to the point of self-destruction?
19. Have you ever threatened to break up the family because of the gambling?
20. Do you feel that your life together is a nightmare?

What can you do next?

This list can be found on the Gam-Anon website or in Gam-Anon published literature. If you can identify with any of the information listed above:

• Continue to educate yourself about gambling addiction through resources and literature.
• Reach out to a trained professional.
• Attend a Gam-Anon or any 12-step support meeting for friends and family of addicts.

If we believe our loved one has a gambling addiction, it is OK to encourage them to seek help, however, it is vitally important for us as family members to seek out our own help. We are not alone, there is hope, and life can get better.

What do you do if you are married to someone who is caught up into gambling? He or she might even be going down the downhill slope of gambling away your marriage, family relationship, your home and everything you own and treasure.

What if YOU are the gambler who is caught up in this type of behavior?

These are issues we'd like to address in this article that we pray can help you in some way.

When Gambling is Destroying Marriages

We know this is a tall order and that we can only scratch the surface of the subject. But because of the seriousness of this problem, we know it's important to do what we can to help those who are overwhelmed by it all.

We don't want to approach this subject as if we are the experts here at Marriage Missions advising you. That is because frankly, we have very little experience in this area of marriage. We do, however, personally know of several couples that have/are dealing with this issue. But that is more of a distant view, rather than an up close and personal one. So we will facilitate within this article, the opportunity for others who are more experienced to share what they have learned.

First:

Lets look at gambling in general to give you information you might find helpful. We'd then like to address the person who is married to the gambler (and other family members and friends). And then we'll address the gambler, as well.

One of the 'truths' concerning gambling that we didn't know was brought up in an article titled, 'Gambling's Impact on Families.' It is put together by Ronald A. Reno. He wrote:

'A University of Nebraska Medical Center study concluded that problem gambling is as much a risk factor for domestic violence as alcohol abuse. Domestic violence murders in at least 11 states have been traced to gambling problems since 1996.'

Another article written by Ronald Reno (and posted on the Beliefnet.com web site) brings out the scriptural reasons why gambling isn't something we should indulge in. He brings out the point:

'Jesus commanded, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself‘(Mark 12:31). Gambling, meanwhile, is predicated on the losses, pain, and suffering of others. For one to win at gambling, others must lose. For many, the ramifications attributable to their gambling losses are profound. Families touched by a gambling addiction are at greatly increased risk for such negative outcomes as divorce, bankruptcy, child abuse, domestic violence, crime, and suicide.'

Besides that point, the article brings out others as well, with scriptures to support them. To find out more, please click onto the link below to read:

• GOD AND GAMBLING

What Can You Do?

After you recognize that there is a gambling problem going on within your family and that gambling can grow in its negative impact, what can the family do about it? Marriageuncensored.com had an interesting article posted on their web site that brings out the important point:

'There's the failure of the non-addicted spouse and other family members to respond appropriately and helpfully to the situation. Now, don't get me wrong on this. I understand that the person with the addiction is the one who must ultimately take responsibility and make the changes to get healthy. If you are the supportive spouse, I am not suggesting that you are responsible for the addiction or the havoc it's wreaking in your home.

'I am suggesting, however, that the way in which you respond can either create an environment that will help your spouse beat their addiction, or it can contribute to and compound the problem. As the partner who is one step removed from the addiction, you will have a huge impact on how this will turn out —for better or worse.

'The tendency of many in this situation is to tiptoe around the addict and their habit. But while letting sleeping dogs lie may get you through the day, it will not bring about the results you desire long-term.'

Gamblers and the Denial Factor

In a web site article, 'Tiptoeing Around Addictions' Dr. Dave Currie, with Glen Hoos, made the point that 'DENIAL' is one of the 'unhealthy ways that 'people respond to their spouse's addiction.' They make the point that the addict tries to deny that there is a problem. But:

'Their spouse, family and friends often get hooked into it as well. The spouse in particular may deny the extent of the problem. They may try to convince themselves that their marriage is strong enough to bear up under this pressure, and that the issue is better left alone.

'You've got to be willing to let go of the security of that fantasy, and face reality. The first (and often hardest) step is admitting you have a problem. The issue is there whether you admit it or not; accepting the truth puts you on the road to recovery. If you deny the depth of the problem, your spouse will have no compelling reason to face it either. If this is the case your situation is never going to improve.'

Enablement Concerning Gamblers

And then there is, 'ENABLEMENT,' which is 'denial taken a step further.' As Dave Currie and Glen Hoos write:

'It's covering for the addict, protecting them from the natural consequences of their actions. Some examples:

• 'The boss calls and asks the woman why her husband isn't at work today. ‘He's in bed, sick,' she answers… neglecting to mention that the sickness is due to a killer hangover incurred the night before.

• 'The wife's gambling addiction has strained the family finances to the point where the bills can no longer be paid. Instead of facing the real issue, the husband arranges to skip a mortgage payment and opens yet another line of credit.'

Facing the Truth

It's tempting to do this because it seems easier to do this than to face the truth. However, as it's pointed out:

'What you're doing when you cover for the person is removing their motivation to change. Maybe he needs to get fired to wake him up. Maybe she needs to go to the store and have her credit card rejected when she's trying to buy groceries to realize there's a problem here.'

'Instead of enabling, you've got to intervene. Whether that's a one-on-one confrontation or some kind of a group intervention depends on what you're facing. But you need to come to the point where you sit down and say, ‘Okay, we have a problem here. What are we going to do about it?''

Abandonment

Another way that a spouse and family may tiptoe around addiction is that they turn to 'ABANDONMENT' as a way to cope.

'They cover for the addict one too many times and have come to the point where they say, ‘You know what? You got yourself into this mess… now get yourself out of it!' They wash their hands of the situation and leave their spouse to deal with the problem alone.

'It's understandable that some people get to this point. After all, it's their spouse who chose this road, and paying for their bad behavior gets old very fast. Nevertheless, if you're in this position you've got to ask yourself how you want this to play out? Do you really want your spouse to get cleaned up and get your marriage back on track? Because if that's what you want, you're not going to get it by leaving your husband or wife to fend for themselves. They're going to need your support and encouragement every step of the way.

Suppress the Urge to Blame

'Somehow, you've got to suppress the urge to cast blame and point fingers. Instead of putting the problem between you, you've got to stand side-to-side with the problem in front of you and say, ‘We have a problem. It happens to be your addiction, but it's our problem, and we're going to solve it together.' What a world of difference from the, ‘It's your problem… deal with it!' approach.

'This is undeniably tough, especially if your spouse is not showing a willingness to do the hard work of recovery. However, don't mistake support for softness. Supporting your spouse may mean confronting them, refusing to cover for them, and perhaps even separating for a period of time while they work through it. But it's got to be done in a context of love and encouragement, and an attitude that says, ‘We will do whatever it takes to get you healthy and to put our marriage back on solid ground.''

Now, it's true that you may have been there and done that. But it's important not to keep allowing this addiction to keep going on in your home. That is because it will continue to erode your marital relationship until eventually your marriage will be totally destroyed. There is no doubt that help is needed —desperately!

How Do You Know If U Have A Gambling Problem Involving

Flying Solo

'FLYING SOLO' is another temptation facing you in all of this. Dave and Glen write further:

'As in many other areas of life, pride can be crippling when it comes to dealing with addiction. Pride causes you to say, ‘We don't need help. We can handle this on our own.'

'Most addicts require outside help to fully conquer their habits —and fortunately, help is widely available. Whether it's Gamblers Anonymous, Alcoholics Anonymous, Sex Addicts Anonymous —name the addiction, and there is likely a group to help people through it. And if there aren't any groups for it, there are counselors, pastors, friends to walk alongside you. And there are helpful resources available that can really make a difference.

'You'd be wise if you reached out for help at this time, and not just for the one with the addiction. There are also support groups for spouses, friends and family of addicts. Talking with others that are on a similar journey can bring you strength in difficult times.'

Addiction Info

So, in our search for help for those who are being impacted by the negative effects of gambling upon their lives, we found the following to be something that you may want to use. The authors wrote:

'Because of the involvement of a family member, our hearts have been drawn to the Christian Recovery of Compulsive Gambling and Gambling Addiction. After doing considerable research on the internet on compulsive gambling and participating in the Recovery Process (Gambler's Anonymous) with a loved one in a Support Group (Gamanon), we would like to share what we have found with all who visit this web site.'

To take advantage of what they offer, whether you are a family member, friend or someone who is dealing with your own gambling issues, please click onto the following web site link:

• IS GAMBLING A PROBLEM? Gambling Addiction Information

Something that would be good for the gambler to consider is written by Gregory L. Jantz. Please read:

• 14 QUESTIONS EVERY GAMBLER SHOULD ASK

Older Gamblers

And if you think that it's only those who are younger that are having problems in this area of life, think again. The ministry of Focus on the Family put together a great series of articles. They are aimed to help those who are living out the years of 'Midlife and Beyond.' They are betting their life savings away hoping to obtain more to live on in their growing years. To read the first of the series and then continue on to the other articles they offer on this subject, please read:

How To Tell If U Have A Gambling Problem

• GAMBLING AND SENIORS

How Do You Know If U Have A Gambling Problem Solving

We hope you have found this article to be helpful. We encourage you to 'Join the Discussion' below if you have further help for those who need it.

Cindy Wright of Marriage Missions International wrote this article.

How Do U Know If U Have A Gambling Problem